Cloud and the Big Ass Rock
by Bluehorse14
Summary: When Cloud decides that Suicide is a good Course of action Zidane and Squal decide to show him that he doesn't have to. Cause they are willing to do it for Him! Song fic one-shot! T for language


Me: Hey people! This is my first dissidia fanfic. And yes it is a one shot. To my subscribers and favorite author people I am putting this out to hopeful get dissidia out of my head for a while. This is really just a stupid thing that was originally gonna star sonic characters but then I thought suicidal Cloud made just a bit more sense. So I'm sorry to both Sonic and Cloud fans but this is pretty funny so I think even if you don't know the characters you will find it funny… plus there is a Sonic reference in here so yeah. I don't own the characters or the song so enjoy. Oh yeah the Song is from Full monty Sorry.

**Cloud and the Big Ass Rock**

Cloud sat on the ledge contemplating things. He contemplated his sins, his past, all he had lost, and whatever future that he might have. Then he looked at the sword he had stuck in the ground near him. The idea of sending it all away and simple impaling himself with the sword that had killed so many others. He picked it up and examined it for a while still contemplating.

…

"But you are missing the point," Squal responded," Sonic doesn't even like her."

"Of course he does," Zidane protested, while his tail made a silent move for the gunblade, "He is just scared of his feelings."

"Scared of his feelings?" Squal repeated swatting the tails away," That is stupid."

"Oh you're a fine one to talk," Zidane retorted rubbing the sore spot on his tail. Before Squal could ask what he meant a serious (or at least semi serious look) and pointed at the depressed cloud. Squal looked at Cloud and then at the younger hero before accompanying him toward Cloud.

"Hey what's up buddy?" Zidane asked with his usual smile at Cloud.

"Go away," He quickly responded not looking up from his blade.

"That's pretty rude," Squal said also taking a seat next to him.

"I just want to be alone right now," Cloud quickly said.

Squal looked at Zidane expecting him to do some of his usual zany things and change the situation. But to his surprise He simply stood up and started walking off. "alright then let's go Squal."

Squal stood up and started walking behind the boy. When he was almost certain he intended to leave him there Zidane turned around and started singing of all things.

"**Let's find a rock. I mean a big ass rock. Maybe Something like a cinderblock is better," **Zidane sang loudly making Cloud turn around and Squal raise an eyebrow," **And buddy I'll hoist it up, and drop it on your face." **Cloud now raised an eyebrow and semi backed off before he continued," **And just before the lights go out," **He now sang walking back toward Cloud," **You'll see my smile and you'll know you've got a friend. With a rock, who cares. I mean I big ass Rock."**

"**Or a rope," **Squal added bringing the attention to himself despite the fact he couldn't believe he was singing," **Made for a man who's devoid of hope like you are my buddy, lightning?" **he fake asked purposefully getting the name wrong.

"It's Cloud," Cloud stated a little irked but actually somewhat happy that they were doing for some reason.

"Right Cloud," Squal responded nonchalantly," **And I will leave you swinging there, twitching like a fish while you claw the air. And pal of mine I'll grab your feat, pull real hard and SNAP! Your spinal cord."**

"**This world is cold when your alone, and they ignore you," **Zidane sang taking over," **But don't kill yourself! We'll do it for you. You've got a friend."**

Zidane then stopped singing to tell a story ," You know this one time I asked this guy if he wouldn't mind putting me in a barrel and sending me over the falls. You know what that s.o.b. said?"

"What?" Cloud asked actually curious.

" Drop dead asshole," Zidane quoted.

"People are pricks," Cloud commented

"I got one," Squal said stepping forward," I once asked a guy if he wouldn't mind taking his air compressor and drilling a six inch nail right through my eyelids, you know what he said? I'm low on nails."

"People are selfish pricks," Cloud once again commented now standing next to the others.

"And another time," Squal said remembering another attempted helpicide, "I laid down in front of a steam roller and asked the guy to just proceed, business as usual and just squash me like a bug."

"Good way to go Squal the old bug squash," Zidane commented before an idea came to him, "We could tie a plastic laundry bag over his head."

"No that's such a wimp suicide," Squal responded.

"I still like my sword," Cloud added.

"Cloud stay out of this," Zidane said jokily.

But to both of their surprises Cloud decided to join in on the song. "**I've got friends like Sharel king, or was it Carly Simon used to sing? I always get those two confused, but anyway. I turned around and suddenly, I'm not alone it ain't just me. I'm like a player on the team."**

"**Player on the team," **Zidane and Squal repeated.

"**Part of the Gang," **Cloud continued.

"**Part of the gang," **The two others repeated.

"**A member of the club!" **Cloud proclaimed and gave Squal a new idea.

"**Oh, let's get a club," **Squal commented.

"**I like the big ass rock," **Zidane protested.

"**Aw one good swing and I'll clean his clock forever," **Squal responded.

"**Let gravity do the work," **Zidane commented.

"It's a man's way to die Lightning," Squal simply spoke using the wrong name on purpose.

"Cloud!" Zidane yelled at Squal before Cloud himself could which made Cloud hold the note and sing:

"**I've got friends!"**

"**Friends who will love you like a maniac!" **Zidane and Squal sang in unison, **"And lead you like a lamb to the railroad track. Tie you down.**

"**I've got friends!" **Cloud repeated.

"**Tickle your wrist with a single edge razor. Or buy you a beer with a draino chaser. Dump you in the river with a rock!"**

"**A big Ass Rock**" Cloud added to his friends showing one of his few smiles.

"Come on guys, Group hug!" Zidane proclaimed. Squal and Cloud rolledtheir eyes but came in to the group hug anyway. Because they were friends.

…

Me: Well there you have it everybody. Sorry people who subscribe for Sonic stuff but it is Christmas Break so I will be writing a lot. Don't worry I will be updating the things that are already out but I might start a few things that you probably won't care much about. But as for the Dissidia fans I hope you liked it. Apart from singing Cloud and Singing Squal it was pretty good if you don't mind me saying so. Maybe I could have chosen better characters but I am a 7, 8, and 9 fan so I decided to use these guys. Favorite if you want but I won't be updating( cause this is a one-shot). I might make another Dissidia story but just a warning the main character will probably be Zidane for those of you who aren't Zidane fans. Anyway review, tell your friends, and keep reading


End file.
